Life always begins again..

Nearly one year later here I sit beginning my life over again. This year has brought incomprehensible sadness, and moments of joy all swirled together. It's been almost a year since my little girl died, and 8 months since her little brother was born peacefully into the hands of our midwife Ellie Legare, just inches from where his big sister died.

It's been hard in a myriad of ways. Grief paired with excitement, pitted against guilt and joy. The joy in the birth of my 2nd son darkened by the guilt over his sisters passing, and his big brothers grief as only a 2 1/2 year old can express it. On to the present...

I've started classes in midwifery at New Life Home Birth. It's going great so far.. And Mitch is excited that I'm doing something that I've only talked about forever. And to bolster my schooling and clinical hours I've decided to get myself certified as a birth/postpartum Doula at Birthingway here in Portland. I've offered my services as a Doula in the past but we all know how people like to see that piece of paper stating that you know what you're doing etc. Now I have to figure out how to get a preceptor to apprentice under when I reach that point in my schooling. And I also need to learn the fine art of time share, so I can be a doula and still be a good mom.

Onward ho!....